Post by Observer2 on Nov 5, 2004 8:12:41 GMT -5
Stuart Saves His Family -- Still a hit with 12-steppers
Al Franken stars as Stuart Smalley "a member of several twelve step programs but not a licensed therapist."
My sister and I were hanging out with a group of friends a week or so ago, all but one of whom are in 12-step programs. Neither my sister nor I have had to deal with substance addictions (for which I’m deeply grateful). Still, my sister has had some close friends who were in 12-step programs, so she’s familiar with the principles and lingo; and for a while I attended a 12-step group for sexual abuse survivors, as well as ACOA/DF (adult children of alcoholics/dysfunctional families anonymous). (Neither of my parents was alcoholic, but some ACOA groups see enough parallels in dry but dysfunctional families that they include the DF extension.)
So all but one of us were real familiar with the concepts; and we got to talking, I think it was about how people rationalize and refuse to see their own patterns, and don’t admit to themselves that they have a problem. Anyway, at one point I glanced at my sister and muttered, “Ever shoot a family member while drinking?” Let me tell you, she wasn’t the only one who laughed.
The whole room cracked up... except for one person. The one with no 12-step connections looked puzzled, and two of the other women said, almost in unison, “Stuart Saves His Family!” which made us all laugh again.
So then we had to explain. And believe it or not, I didn’t have to say much. The real 12-steppers were the ones doing most of the talking, and it sure sounded like they’d seen it a lot more recently than 1995. Before long they were planning a get-together at one of their houses, where the one woman could see it for the first time, and the rest of us could watch it again.
Now, aside from my sister, these women don’t watch Criminal Intent, and wouldn’t know D’Onofrio if they tripped over him. But they love Stuart Saves His Family, and every one of them remembers vividly the scene where Donnie can’t help laughing, even though it hurts to laugh.
I think that scene really captures something. It provides a vivid image that’s symbolic of the overall approach of the movie, which in turn reflects an approach to dealing with emotional pain that is common among successful 12-steppers.
Some people use humor to avoid dealing with pain. They make a joke to distance themselves from the feelings. But there’s another way to use humor, a way that helps people open up and accept their feelings, and at the same time helps them cope with the pain. It’s the rueful, self-aware humor that makes you wince and laugh at the same time.
Like any good 12-step meeting, Stuart Saves His Family is full of that kind of humor.
It’s also surprisingly sad – as grim, in some ways, as Crooked Hearts – for something that starts out as a comedy… and it’s a surprisingly feel-good movie, considering how predictably unsuccessful Stuart is at “saving” his dysfunctional family from itself.
If you haven’t seen it, I hope I’ve sparked your curiosity. If you have, perhaps I’ve reminded you of the perfect movie to watch just before all those *lovely* holiday family reunions… ;)
For me, the startling thing this time around was to realize that Stuart Smalley is both played and written by Al Franken. THE Al Franken. Of whom I knew nothing when I first watched Stuart Saves His Family. Having since discovered him as a painfully funny political writer, I’m not at all surprised at the insight, humanity, humor and ruthless truth he brought to the writing of this film.
#nosmileys#nosmileys#nosmileys#nosmileys
Al Franken stars as Stuart Smalley "a member of several twelve step programs but not a licensed therapist."
My sister and I were hanging out with a group of friends a week or so ago, all but one of whom are in 12-step programs. Neither my sister nor I have had to deal with substance addictions (for which I’m deeply grateful). Still, my sister has had some close friends who were in 12-step programs, so she’s familiar with the principles and lingo; and for a while I attended a 12-step group for sexual abuse survivors, as well as ACOA/DF (adult children of alcoholics/dysfunctional families anonymous). (Neither of my parents was alcoholic, but some ACOA groups see enough parallels in dry but dysfunctional families that they include the DF extension.)
So all but one of us were real familiar with the concepts; and we got to talking, I think it was about how people rationalize and refuse to see their own patterns, and don’t admit to themselves that they have a problem. Anyway, at one point I glanced at my sister and muttered, “Ever shoot a family member while drinking?” Let me tell you, she wasn’t the only one who laughed.
The whole room cracked up... except for one person. The one with no 12-step connections looked puzzled, and two of the other women said, almost in unison, “Stuart Saves His Family!” which made us all laugh again.
So then we had to explain. And believe it or not, I didn’t have to say much. The real 12-steppers were the ones doing most of the talking, and it sure sounded like they’d seen it a lot more recently than 1995. Before long they were planning a get-together at one of their houses, where the one woman could see it for the first time, and the rest of us could watch it again.
Now, aside from my sister, these women don’t watch Criminal Intent, and wouldn’t know D’Onofrio if they tripped over him. But they love Stuart Saves His Family, and every one of them remembers vividly the scene where Donnie can’t help laughing, even though it hurts to laugh.
I think that scene really captures something. It provides a vivid image that’s symbolic of the overall approach of the movie, which in turn reflects an approach to dealing with emotional pain that is common among successful 12-steppers.
Some people use humor to avoid dealing with pain. They make a joke to distance themselves from the feelings. But there’s another way to use humor, a way that helps people open up and accept their feelings, and at the same time helps them cope with the pain. It’s the rueful, self-aware humor that makes you wince and laugh at the same time.
Like any good 12-step meeting, Stuart Saves His Family is full of that kind of humor.
It’s also surprisingly sad – as grim, in some ways, as Crooked Hearts – for something that starts out as a comedy… and it’s a surprisingly feel-good movie, considering how predictably unsuccessful Stuart is at “saving” his dysfunctional family from itself.
If you haven’t seen it, I hope I’ve sparked your curiosity. If you have, perhaps I’ve reminded you of the perfect movie to watch just before all those *lovely* holiday family reunions… ;)
For me, the startling thing this time around was to realize that Stuart Smalley is both played and written by Al Franken. THE Al Franken. Of whom I knew nothing when I first watched Stuart Saves His Family. Having since discovered him as a painfully funny political writer, I’m not at all surprised at the insight, humanity, humor and ruthless truth he brought to the writing of this film.
#nosmileys#nosmileys#nosmileys#nosmileys
Patrick Roy, 2006 inductee into the Hockey Hall of Fame