Post by caitlen on Aug 29, 2009 8:06:11 GMT -5
Worst Movie Accents: 15 Manglings of the Foreign (and Southern) Tongue
By: Patricia Chu
August 26, 2009|
In 'Inglourious Basterds,' Brad Pitt plays up his Nazi hunter's Southern accent for laughs. He's gotten unintentional laughs for an accent before, though, when he played an Austrian explorer in 'Seven Years in Tibet.' (Kudos on the vocal work since then, Brad.)
Thinking back on Pitt's varied brogues over the years, we were inspired to compile our 15 favorite bad movie accents -- linguistic atrocities committed by some of the most esteemed actors of our time. (Oh, Sir Sean!) Along the way, we learned some interesting lessons: 1) consistency is key; 2) everyone thinks they can do a British accent, but they pretty much think wrong; and 3) if you're an actor who wants to keep your self-respect intact, don't ever, ever play Irish.
Sean Connery, 'The Untouchables' (Irish)
Yes, the Scottish Sir Sean won an Oscar with his portrayal of an Irish-American cop -- but for his acting, not his accent, which proved once and for all that Scottish and Irish accents aren't quite the same thing.
Kevin Costner, 'Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves' (British)
Bad movie accents come and go, but Costner's "now you hear it, now you don't" attempts at a British accent will stand the test of time. Who needs two Oscars when you've earned a distinction like that?
Tom Cruise, 'Far and Away' (Irish)
We'd say that Cruise's accent reminds us of the Lucky Charms leprechaun ... but to be honest, that seems disrespectful to the leprechaun. (Nicole Kidman did an, um, interesting job as well -- where the heck was this movie's voice coach?)
Harrison Ford, 'K19: The Widowmaker' (Russian)
Maybe we've been watching too much 'Rocky and Bullwinkle,' but Ford's accent as Capt. Alexei Vostrikov is so over-the-top, you'd almost think he was playing the villain. Not so. Apparently even heroes can sound like cartoons.
Tom Hanks, 'The Terminal' (Krakozhian)
Krakozhia is a fictional country. But if Krakozhians actually existed, they'd be outraged -- outraged! -- by the way Hanks has mangled their made-up mother tongue.
Charlton Heston, 'Touch of Evil' (Mexican)
Heston subscribes to the Kevin Costner school of intermittent accents. In fact, if it weren't for the fabulous tan and his pencil mustache, you might not know he's supposed to be Mexican at all.
Angelina Jolie, 'Alexander' (indeterminate)
It didn't seem possible, but watching Jolie's performance as the mother of Alexander the Great, our first thought -- for once! -- isn't how gorgeous she is. It's "What the heck accent IS that?" (For the record, she's supposed to be Greek.)
Nicole Kidman and Renée Zellweger (tie), 'Cold Mountain' (Southern)
Yet another Oscar winner makes our list (see Connery, Sean); but Zellweger has company in the weird Southern accents department. She goes harsh and twangy while Kidman goes soft and vague ... So different, yet both so very wrong.
Demi Moore, 'Flawless' (British)
It's an obvious joke, but we'll make it anyway: What certainly isn't 'Flawless' about this movie? Moore's British accent. (Rimshot!)
Brad Pitt, 'The Devil's Own' (Irish)
We'll give Pitt this: He tries hard. And he even sounds sort of authentic ... when all he's saying is "aye." To put it kindly, maybe he should have left the accents to his ex-girlfriend Gwyneth.
Brad Pitt, 'Seven Years in Tibet' (Austrian)
Umm ... Austrians are supposed to sound like Germans, right? Forgive us if we're confused, but Pitt's accent here is so appallingly bad, he sounds more like his Irish character in 'The Devil's Own' than any Austrian we've ever heard.
Keanu Reeves, 'Bram Stoker's Dracula' (British)
Not only did Reeves bring this film to a near-standstill with his travesty against the British people, he did it again a year later, in 'Much Ado About Nothing.' If we were the British government, we'd consider barring him from entering the country ever again.
Julia Roberts, 'Mary Reilly' (Irish)
OK, we get it. Irish accents are hard. But talking in your normal voice and then saying, "Sahrr... you said you had an AILness," does not an Irishwoman make.
John Malkovich, 'Rounders' (Russian)
Is Malkovich awesome as Teddy KGB? Yes. And even if that's because of his outrageously hammy accent, we can't lay down the fact that it sounds as if he's auditioning to play Chekov on 'Star Trek.' "Meester son of a beetch! Let's play some carrrds!"
Dick Van Dyke, 'Mary Poppins' (Cockney)
Without a doubt, Van Dyke's Bert is one of the most beloved characters of all time (well, at least one of the most beloved chimney sweeps). But there's also no doubt that the sound of his Cockney accent is, as Mary would say, "something quite atrocious." Um-diddle-diddle, um-diddle-eye, guvnah.
Bonus #16: Nicolas Cage, 'Captain Corelli's Mandolin' (Italian)
Readers Michelle and Sara astutely pointed out that we'd committed the sin of leaving off Cage's atrocious Italian accent ("Bambina!") -- though in the end, our sin wasn't nearly as great as his. In our defense, we were so traumatized by his performance that we'd erased it from our memories. Or we tried, anyway.
Who has the worst movie accent?
Sean Connery, 'The Untouchables'
Kevin Costner, 'Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves'
Tom Cruise, 'Far and Away'
Harrison Ford, 'K19: The Widowmaker'
Tom Hanks, 'The Terminal'
Charlton Heston, 'Touch of Evil'
Angelina Jolie, 'Alexander'
Nicole Kidman and Renee Zellweger, 'Cold Mountain'
Demi Moore, 'Flawless'
Brad Pitt, 'The Devil's Own'
Brad Pitt, 'Seven Years in Tibet'
Keanu Reeves, 'Dracula'
Julia Roberts, 'Mary Reilly'
John Malkovich, 'Rounders'
Dick Van Dyke, 'Mary Poppins'
Nicolas Cage, 'Captain Corelli's Mandolin'
Vote and view the movie clips here:
insidemovies.moviefone.com/2009/08/26/worst-movie-accents/
By: Patricia Chu
August 26, 2009|
In 'Inglourious Basterds,' Brad Pitt plays up his Nazi hunter's Southern accent for laughs. He's gotten unintentional laughs for an accent before, though, when he played an Austrian explorer in 'Seven Years in Tibet.' (Kudos on the vocal work since then, Brad.)
Thinking back on Pitt's varied brogues over the years, we were inspired to compile our 15 favorite bad movie accents -- linguistic atrocities committed by some of the most esteemed actors of our time. (Oh, Sir Sean!) Along the way, we learned some interesting lessons: 1) consistency is key; 2) everyone thinks they can do a British accent, but they pretty much think wrong; and 3) if you're an actor who wants to keep your self-respect intact, don't ever, ever play Irish.
Sean Connery, 'The Untouchables' (Irish)
Yes, the Scottish Sir Sean won an Oscar with his portrayal of an Irish-American cop -- but for his acting, not his accent, which proved once and for all that Scottish and Irish accents aren't quite the same thing.
Kevin Costner, 'Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves' (British)
Bad movie accents come and go, but Costner's "now you hear it, now you don't" attempts at a British accent will stand the test of time. Who needs two Oscars when you've earned a distinction like that?
Tom Cruise, 'Far and Away' (Irish)
We'd say that Cruise's accent reminds us of the Lucky Charms leprechaun ... but to be honest, that seems disrespectful to the leprechaun. (Nicole Kidman did an, um, interesting job as well -- where the heck was this movie's voice coach?)
Harrison Ford, 'K19: The Widowmaker' (Russian)
Maybe we've been watching too much 'Rocky and Bullwinkle,' but Ford's accent as Capt. Alexei Vostrikov is so over-the-top, you'd almost think he was playing the villain. Not so. Apparently even heroes can sound like cartoons.
Tom Hanks, 'The Terminal' (Krakozhian)
Krakozhia is a fictional country. But if Krakozhians actually existed, they'd be outraged -- outraged! -- by the way Hanks has mangled their made-up mother tongue.
Charlton Heston, 'Touch of Evil' (Mexican)
Heston subscribes to the Kevin Costner school of intermittent accents. In fact, if it weren't for the fabulous tan and his pencil mustache, you might not know he's supposed to be Mexican at all.
Angelina Jolie, 'Alexander' (indeterminate)
It didn't seem possible, but watching Jolie's performance as the mother of Alexander the Great, our first thought -- for once! -- isn't how gorgeous she is. It's "What the heck accent IS that?" (For the record, she's supposed to be Greek.)
Nicole Kidman and Renée Zellweger (tie), 'Cold Mountain' (Southern)
Yet another Oscar winner makes our list (see Connery, Sean); but Zellweger has company in the weird Southern accents department. She goes harsh and twangy while Kidman goes soft and vague ... So different, yet both so very wrong.
Demi Moore, 'Flawless' (British)
It's an obvious joke, but we'll make it anyway: What certainly isn't 'Flawless' about this movie? Moore's British accent. (Rimshot!)
Brad Pitt, 'The Devil's Own' (Irish)
We'll give Pitt this: He tries hard. And he even sounds sort of authentic ... when all he's saying is "aye." To put it kindly, maybe he should have left the accents to his ex-girlfriend Gwyneth.
Brad Pitt, 'Seven Years in Tibet' (Austrian)
Umm ... Austrians are supposed to sound like Germans, right? Forgive us if we're confused, but Pitt's accent here is so appallingly bad, he sounds more like his Irish character in 'The Devil's Own' than any Austrian we've ever heard.
Keanu Reeves, 'Bram Stoker's Dracula' (British)
Not only did Reeves bring this film to a near-standstill with his travesty against the British people, he did it again a year later, in 'Much Ado About Nothing.' If we were the British government, we'd consider barring him from entering the country ever again.
Julia Roberts, 'Mary Reilly' (Irish)
OK, we get it. Irish accents are hard. But talking in your normal voice and then saying, "Sahrr... you said you had an AILness," does not an Irishwoman make.
John Malkovich, 'Rounders' (Russian)
Is Malkovich awesome as Teddy KGB? Yes. And even if that's because of his outrageously hammy accent, we can't lay down the fact that it sounds as if he's auditioning to play Chekov on 'Star Trek.' "Meester son of a beetch! Let's play some carrrds!"
Dick Van Dyke, 'Mary Poppins' (Cockney)
Without a doubt, Van Dyke's Bert is one of the most beloved characters of all time (well, at least one of the most beloved chimney sweeps). But there's also no doubt that the sound of his Cockney accent is, as Mary would say, "something quite atrocious." Um-diddle-diddle, um-diddle-eye, guvnah.
Bonus #16: Nicolas Cage, 'Captain Corelli's Mandolin' (Italian)
Readers Michelle and Sara astutely pointed out that we'd committed the sin of leaving off Cage's atrocious Italian accent ("Bambina!") -- though in the end, our sin wasn't nearly as great as his. In our defense, we were so traumatized by his performance that we'd erased it from our memories. Or we tried, anyway.
Who has the worst movie accent?
Sean Connery, 'The Untouchables'
Kevin Costner, 'Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves'
Tom Cruise, 'Far and Away'
Harrison Ford, 'K19: The Widowmaker'
Tom Hanks, 'The Terminal'
Charlton Heston, 'Touch of Evil'
Angelina Jolie, 'Alexander'
Nicole Kidman and Renee Zellweger, 'Cold Mountain'
Demi Moore, 'Flawless'
Brad Pitt, 'The Devil's Own'
Brad Pitt, 'Seven Years in Tibet'
Keanu Reeves, 'Dracula'
Julia Roberts, 'Mary Reilly'
John Malkovich, 'Rounders'
Dick Van Dyke, 'Mary Poppins'
Nicolas Cage, 'Captain Corelli's Mandolin'
Vote and view the movie clips here:
insidemovies.moviefone.com/2009/08/26/worst-movie-accents/
