Yes, taking a day off was food for the soul. I feel relaxed, refreshed and happy. I just found myself thinking how lucky we are. Lovely weather, good friends (my best friend followed her heart and moved to england about five days ago to be with her boyfriend. The proof of what a good friend she was is that I miss her like crazy.) I have a job I really like (most of the time) and I'm good at and a place of my own.
I don't know, I just wanted to take some time to enjoy it all: let it sink into my soul and my psyche.
Toward the end of her life, when the was too ill to attend Mass, an image of the service would display on the wall of her cell; thus her patronage of television. She was ever the close friend and spiritual student of Francis, who apparently led her soul into the light.
Patronage embroiderers; eye disease; eyes; gilders; goldsmiths; gold workers; good weather; laundry workers; needle workers; Santa Clara Indian Pueblo; telegraphs; telephones; television; television writers
How neat, huh?
"If it's dangerous to talk to yourself it's probably even dicier to listen." --Jim Hightower
Post by janetcatbird on Oct 6, 2005 21:09:40 GMT -5
This has been an interesting week. Tomorrow afternoon I go home for Fall Break, family will get to pick apples like we've done for years, yay! Classes have gone fine, in addition to the Saint Clare bibliography I had a test in Rock Music today 20 multiple choice questions covering Bob Dylan to Woodstock. (If anyone is interested, Richard Belzer--Munch on SVU--does a terrific Bob Dylan impression, he's a hoot.)
Monday night we had an impromptu Cheese and Fresca party in the common room at about 11:30 PM. Supplies being what they were we consumed more chocolate than cheese--oh, Nutella--as the girls from the hall sat there yakking. Today I helped a friend with a project for Women's and Gender Studies class by standing with a survey on hand while a group of about five girls made cat calls at guys passing by. Standing in the rain, trying not to laugh at people's reactions as 19-20 year old co-eds yell out "Yeah, shake it baby!" at random 51-year old males. I love college.
TO THE MALES ON THIS BOARD Just out of curiosity--and no I won't give these answers to the friend's project--I wonder how you would react. Say you're walking down the street by yourself when a group of about five college girls start whistling and calling such phrases as "Show us that ass!" "Woo-woo!" "Hey hot stuff!" You know these women are directing it at you specifically.
1: How do those calls make you feel? 2: What do you feel when you realize that it's women making the cat calls? 3: How would you feel if it was a group of men calling at you? 4: How would you feel if you were a woman and a group of men was making cat calls at you?
As long as my comments stay on this board, Catbird, here goes:
If a group of young women called out as you described, and I knew the comments were directed at me specifically, I would at first be very embarrassed, then a bit outraged and deeply offended. I resent being treated like a sexual object or a piece of meat on display in a butcher shop. I would feel compelled to shout back at them, "I could be your father, your older brother, for heaven's sake. Would you shout out like that to your Dad or brother? Or to the father or brother of one of your friends? GROW UP!!!"
If the shouters were a group of men, I would be equally outraged and offended to be regarded like a piece of meat, but also a bit uneasy. I would give the group a condescending glance, then quickly change direction and get out of their sight and out of earshot. Their type of behavior borders on gang-like, so there's nothing to be gained by openly confronting bozos like them.
I will not insult any woman by making any claim as to how I would react if I were a woman hearing the catcalls. I can only imagine what it would be like based on my own personal reaction. But there is no way I can put myself completely in the shoes of a woman so I won't even try to go there. However, I asked my wife how she would react if a group of men made sexually oriented catcalls at her. She said she would feel violated, being treated like a sexual object to be degraded in that manner. I support and empathize with her feelings completely.
So there you have it.
Patrick Roy, 2006 inductee into the Hockey Hall of Fame
Post by janetcatbird on Oct 6, 2005 22:40:10 GMT -5
Techguy, Thanks for the response. It was interesting the reactions we got from the (5) guys who agreed to answer the questions on the clipboard. And yes, I did explain that it was for a class project--reverse a gender role/behavior-- and I did apologize (twice) for any discomfort we caused.
The men, by the way, mainly seemed to be in our age group--but I'm a horrible judge of age. One man specifically said he was "51 years old", which explained part of his reaction. ANother guy looked like he was in his 30s or so but I'm not sure Anyway, most tried to ignore it, but I could tell by facial reactions or glances that they knew the girls were calling at them. One laughed out loud, one tried to brush it off "You just made my day," but when I talked to him he did say he was uncomfortable (he was the 51 year old, and really seemed hesitant at "If you were a woman..." because, he told me, he had two daughters himself). One guy said he figured it was a project or joke or something by the way they were seated/acting, but it still confused him. Interestingly enough, one man actually came back to ask me what the project was for, what sorts of reactions we were getting, etc. He then commented that once he got over the initial confusion, and realized that the girls weren't "making fun" of him, he "kind of liked it". I think one guy was just trying to BS us though, from the expression on his face as he talked about society having "two yangs and no yin". But he did make the comment that he'd never seen or heard catcalls, except in movies of TV, so he wondered if it was a media stereotype more than an actual behavior. The thing that made the guys most squirmy was "What if it had been a group of men calling at you?".
I was a wimp, which is why I held the clipboard. I was terrified that one of my professors or someone would walk by. (Besides, I wouldn't have the foggiest clue what to say to a guy.) Still, the 20-foot distance was a nice vantage point to observe and get in a few giggles at how ridiculous we were. (It was pretty obvious the girls were up to something, shoot, there were guys from the dorm sitting with them as they made the catcalls. I probably was obvious too but I tried to be writing or something so I wouldn't immediately be linked. That was more for the sake of getting the man's reaction than anything else.) I myself have never experienced catcalls either, so I can't really say.
Anyone else care to share their experiences? While I know I asked for the male responses to the questions, any stories on this would be fascinating.
I have never received catcalls, & I'm pushing at 40 .... I have got oververt stares; if the stare comes with a smile I usually smile and move on fast, so as to show "yeah thanks for admiring but I don't want to talk to you" if the stare comes with a deadpan face - I scowl back and turn my back & walk off. I alway make eye contact, I guess just part of my personality - just to let them know they were spotted and I am not afraid.
As I was shopping for my place which was being built about a year ago, I passed by the construction site and got hollered and hooted at. I mean it was flattering but I ended up walking past and not going into the sales office to check the place out as I intended. I went in about an hour and half later. The same construction worker was still there and noticed me going in and said nothing but I got the feeling he thought I was going in there to perhaps complain which made me uncomfortable and, if that were the case, him too probably.
So basically what should have been all business for both of us and the condo owners turned into something with a vibe akin to a bad breakup with a guy at work?!
This kind of thing usually happens to me when I'm taking a walk, once when I was even pushing a baby in a stroller; some idiot yells out his car window, and it always startles me! I hate that. What I think of the guy/s that did it is that they're looking for a zero-risk way to show some libido. After all, how can you reject someone who just flew by at 45 miles per hour?
I used to get catcalled all the time, but I think I've aged and eaten my way out of it. It's usually a group of guys, you know? Showing off to each other. Like some girl is going to walk over and say "Take me, baby, I'm yours." Posturing.
Duet, I'm jealous. You may have my horrible unending sunny weather. I'll ship it to you. It's supposed to be freaking 87* tomorrow. Yuck. I want winter, cold and rainy.
I had a three day in-a-dark-room-no-noise-nauseated-migraine last week and I still have a residual headache. It's making me crankier than normal. And it's the drop dead due date for taxes on Monday, so I'm swamped with all my last minute-ers.
Oh! And totally cool about St Clare of Asssis, catbird. She has to be my patron saint. Needlework, tv, eye disease.....
Last Edit: Oct 11, 2005 17:52:14 GMT -5 by jaquetta
Post by janetcatbird on Oct 12, 2005 10:28:22 GMT -5
We finally dipped below 70, though whether that's time of year or just the cloudy rain I'm not sure. I did bring back a few long-sleeve shirts form home and will complete the switchout when I go home in a couple weeks for a show.
Oh boy. Went to the mountains to pick apples on Sunday, got to watch some old movies and visit a family I babysit over Fall Break, very nice. My roommate won't get back in until late tonight (she made a decision to skip a day fo class to stay with family/travel time) so I'll get to watch movies without headphones, yay!
Like I said, I don't get called at. Partly because there aren't very many guys on campus, but I wonder if it's a generation thing too. A couple times when I'm trying to cross an intersection the guys in a stopped car will look at me and be laughing, but I've never heard what they said. A baby stroller, Trisha?!?!
Jaquetta, it's amazing what random bits and bobs of info you find as a history major. We had some interesting discussions on Abelard and Heloise last week... but I'm sorrya bout your migraine. Feeling better now?
We're dreaming of the 70's here in MI. It's been in the 50's this week, and I've got my first cold of the season. Time to stock up on chicken soup, kleenex, chapstick, and hot coco. A friend of mine said that "Air Born" works really well for her to nip these things in the bud. Any of you guys have luck with that stuff or anything else?