Re. stars watching boards--I can't help but think they have better things to do. I mean, Mr. D'Onofrio has lines to learn, a career to manage, children, and his own interests. (On the other hand, IF you're reading this and ever in the Indianapolis area, I'd be happy to take you to a hot spot (yes, Indianapolis has hot spots) and buy you a drink)...
On the other hand, Kathryn Erbe has indicated in a couple of interviews that she's aware of fanfiction and fan boards.
And, I hesitate to add this because it sounds like I'm blowing my own horn and that's not what I intend to do--but back in October when the NEW YORK TIMES reporter phone interviewed me re. the Nicole will she die/live story, he indicated that someone from the show had gotten my email from this site. I have no idea if anyone else had a similar experience.
Yes, the story Katheryn Erbe refered to is on Fanfiction.net. When I read the interview with her, and she mentioned a part of the story, I immediatly recognized it as one I'd read on that archive. Kinda cool huh? (which is why we writers post disclaimers on our stories, because you never know who is reading your work...*grin*)(Dick Wolf has big, scary lawyers, and so I put disclaimers on all my CI works. I don't want to meet his lawyers...lol )
I read about that interview, Pat...and thats too cool! If a NY TIMES reporter called me about CI chat boards, I probably wouldn't have believed him ( unless he gave me some proof that he was really a NYTIMES reporter)..LOL...like one of my friends was just messing with me or something...
KATIE... best wishes to your niece! Hope she gets to feeling better! ~Mel
"Sanity calms, Madness is more interesting." ~Bertrand Russell
Thanks so much Mel, My brother always plays tricks on me, like If you won something and someone calls, you never beleive It. Although on another board Vincent up untill 2004 dropped In for chats on his work. love Katie
I’ve heard that rumor before, but I’m a bit skeptical about it.
Someone in a writing group I’m in used to go to fan boards for a particular singing group. Someone started posting in, claiming to be one of the singers, then started emailing her personally. It was a year – of an increasingly strange relationship – before she finally found out that he wasn’t really the singer.
I’m not saying it’s impossible that D’Onofrio really posted on some board... I’d have to see a sample of the person’s posts before I could begin to guess, one way or the other, whether it was really him... but the fact is that anyone can post in and *claim* to be someone – and some people get off on doing just that kind of thing.
I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he reads the boards at times – certainly people from NBC and the Criminal Intent production office (including, apparently, Balcer) read them at times. But I also wouldn’t be surprised, if they post at all, if they did so under some innocuous, virtually anonymous, nickname, rather than announcing themselves as someone famous that everyone on the board wants to talk to.
As far as getting an autograph for your niece, I thought of something you might try. I know D’Onofrio goes to Australia periodically, and at times he apparently films ads for the TV network down there that airs Criminal Intent. You might try writing to, or calling, the offices of that network, and telling them about your niece’s request. It’s possible that they might agree to pass the request along the next time they’re in contact with him. Between his fondness for Australia, and his feeling for kids, who knows... at least it might have a better chance of reaching him personally than a letter sent through the NBC network, which probably handles masses of fan mail for him in a necessarily impersonal way.
And, just a reminder... you, and many other fans, seem to feel comfortable calling him Vincent (or various nick-names based on Vincent). Others of us generally go with the journalistic convention of just using the person’s last name, at least in casual usage. A letter, though, or even a phone call, would probably be taken more seriously if you take a slightly more formal, respectful tone, so “Mr. D’Onofrio” might go over better in that situation. (I hope my reminder doesn’t offend you... I’ve read posts on other boards by fans who were so used to calling him by his first name that they did so even when meeting him in person – which strikes me as pretty rude – so I thought a reminder might be a good idea.)
Last Edit: Mar 10, 2005 17:30:37 GMT -5 by Observer2
You didn’t say how old your niece is, or how long she is expected to live. I’m most familiar with severe forms of CF, so I tend to think in terms of children, with prognoses measured in terms of months, or at most a few years... If her situation is not that severe, I would be happy to hear it.
In any case, I don’t know if the Make a Wish Foundation operates in Australia, but if it does, and if your niece’s situation is quite serious, they might be able to help. Or there might be other, similar groups, that would contact him on your niece’s behalf.
Rene Balcer posted on the usenet board when CI was first released, and I'm pretty sure it was him. If I recall correctly, he used his own name as his handel, too.
I don't know if D'Onofrio would post on a fan board built for him. Most celebs distance themselves from their fans so as not to form any unhealthy or dangerous relationships, but I don't know the guy. He may have done it thinking it was harmless fun, and a nice thing to do for his fans. But, like Observer, I wouldn't have put much faith behind it actually being him, but I wouldn't want to be rude, either.
When Balcer posted on the usenet board, someone called him out on it, and suggested he wasn't really him. I think nick5oh jumped on and asked how Mr. Balcer should prove it, by writing a script there and then? It was actually pretty amusing, but I digress.
Katie, I hope you do get in touch with Mr. D'Onofrio on your niece's behalf, and I think Make A Wish and the TV station are both very good idea's. Also, I recall that someone on another board was in contact with his agent. Perhaps you could try to get in touch with him through that person
Yeah, I seem to recall Balcer mentioning in some interview that he had done some posting when Criminal Intent first came out. And perhaps, if Balcer had a good experience with that, D’Onofrio might have given it a try, as well – though I certainly don’t remember him mentioning anything of that nature in interviews.
I’m sorry I wasn’t reading the boards when Balcer was posting... though he probably would have gotten tired of answering my incessant questions before long. When there’s something I’m really interested in, I can sometimes be as relentless as Goren. And I can just imagine the exchange you described with Nick5oh... some of us can get pretty hot in defense of the writers – especially Balcer. And if Nick5oh was convinced, I expect it really was Balcer. Geeze, I’m sorry I missed it all.
Post by NicoleMarie on Mar 10, 2005 20:48:49 GMT -5
Sorry to deviate off from the conversation but, if I were to meet Vincent, or any other celebrity I would call them by their name. I usually do. It never occured to me that might be rude.If people introduce themselves to me and say "Hello, I'm Jane Doe", I would say "Hi Miss Jane". Well, my family is southern, though I do live in the north. Maybe that has something to do with it. I certainly wouldn't say "Hi Janie" or "Jane-Jane!" And I wouldn't waltz up to Vincent and say "Hi Vinny!" (I think he hates being called Vinny anyway.) And that is rude and also my pet peeve. If I introduce myself as NicoleMarie, don't you dare call me Nikki! I detest being called Nikki!! I did not give permission to be called Nikki. LOL!!! (No disrespect to the Nikki who posts here!! ) I am called "Nicole Marie" by my family. It is a southern thing. Anyway, to wrap this up, I was taught to say "Miss Jane" Or "Mr. Vincent".
If I were to say "Hi Miss Observer", would you feel offended by that? Hmm. I'm sensing a slight culture clash. LOL!!!
Oh dear, I feel so out of place. LOL! Maybe some other southerners (hillbillies) will understand what I am talking about. ;D
Aw Man! I wish I'd been on that board when Balcer was posting. That would have been too cool...and I luv what Nick5oh retorted to the skeptics. *giggle*
And yea Observer, he'd have gotten tired of my questions as well. I might have even said, "Hey to make this easier, can I just sit behind your chair on the set or in the story planning room, watch over your shoulder?" LOL..j/k...don't think he'd have gone for that. ;D
"Sanity calms, Madness is more interesting." ~Bertrand Russell
I'm also a southerner (a "Tar Heel"), and I know exactly what you're talking about. Many of my friends combine the "Miss" with a first name--"Miss Kayla" or "Miss Betty"--but I haven't noticed the same pattern when addressing a male. Usually it's a first name, or "Mr." combined with a last name. (Whether or not this is because Southerners are more "hillbilly backward", or simply more polite and respectful is a matter of argument I suppose...
That being the case, I think Observer2's comment was accurate and would be helpful.
("Soapbox" comment: That's one of the best things about this site. Users here are able to suggest things (or even correct others) in very pleasant tones. I've traveled to many various types of sites on the Internet, and most places where people discuss things are either insensitive or downright rude. That's a compliment to all here!)
8-)Well, if I were ever fortunate enough to meet Mr. D'Onofrio I'd probably do a very bad imitation of a dead fish, complete with open mouth and bulging eyes(g)
Or the late Chris Farley--"Remember, that cool scene, where you bent your neck?"
If I did retain my voice, I'd call him Mr. D'Onofrio. I was raised to call people Mr. and Mrs. until told otherwise.
But I also come from a family of Midwestern Irish Catholics where a wave constitutes a major emotional outpouring.
Post by domenicaflor on Mar 11, 2005 11:23:20 GMT -5
michael said:
I'm also a southerner (a "Tar Heel"), and I know exactly what you're talking about. Many of my friends combine the "Miss" with a first name--"Miss Kayla" or "Miss Betty"--but I haven't noticed the same pattern when addressing a male. Usually it's a first name, or "Mr." combined with a last name.
I think it's a practice that correlates with ethnicity in some areas. In Philadelphia, this is common practice among African-Americans. I am not African-American, but I have been in various social situations with African-Americans where I am referred to as Miss D- and hear the same for other women.
Nowadays in the workforce, at least in the businesses I have worked for, there seems to be more of a first-name basis. We call everyone by their first name, even the bosses, with the exception of the highest echelon, which is Mr. Smith/Ms. Jones etc. That's probably a major contrast to past practice in the US, as well as to current practice in other countries.
With the Internet being the impersonal yet highly personalized medium that it is, I myself don't consider referring to Vincent D'Onofio as "Vincent" in internet venues to be rude, but I tend to prefer the intermediate social distance of the last name D'Onofrio or occasionally the initials VDO.
I remember reading one interview where he instructed the interviewer to not refer to him as "Vinny/Vinnie". I have also read interviews with his family members and colleagues that refer to him as "Vince". I would never refer to him in those very familiar terms, since those seem to be reserved for family and friends. On the rare and highly unliking scenario that I would ever meet the actor (or another actor), I would definitely address him as Mr. D'Onofrio until told otherwise.
michael said:
("Soapbox" comment: That's one of the best things about this site. Users here are able to suggest things (or even correct others) in very pleasant tones. I've traveled to many various types of sites on the Internet, and most places where people discuss things are either insensitive or downright rude. That's a compliment to all here!)
Michael - I agree. It's one of the few places where civilized discussion is possible, and that's due to the sensitivity and attention of the members and moderators.
I'd address him as Mr. D'Onofrio unless he told me otherwise, and I'm assuming that I could speak if I met him. On one of the The View shows, he was asked if anyone called him "Vinnie," and he said something like, "Only my sister."
My family has a nickname for me that is fine, but if someone outside the family uses it, I correct them the first time. The nickname a family thing, and that's that.
His response on The View was, I thought, a very appealing combination of automatic honesty and thoughtful kindness/courtesy.
Joy Baher (sp?) asked him, “Do they call you Vinnie?” and his initial response was “My sister does... one of them,” which sounds like an unfiltered, stream of consciousness, honest response. But it could also come across as a bit sharp, since she clearly was all set to call him Vinnie, and here he was telling her that no one in the world, except *one* of his sisters, calls him that. So he followed it up with an invitation along the lines of, “You can call me Vinnie, if you want to,” which I thought was a very gentlemanly thing to do.
And, of course, a few moments later, he treated her to a demonstration of exactly how a man should tell a woman, “You look *fine,*” which, to all appearances, made her feel *much* better!
Post by janetcatbird on Mar 11, 2005 15:27:35 GMT -5
Michael--hey, another NCer! You been keeping up with the ACC tournament--I just spent two hours yelling and screaming at the Carolina/Clemson game. (I've mentioned elsewhere that I'm the product of a mixed marriage, State/Carolina, you might actually understand the significance of that!) Sorry, digression.
ANyways, Southerner here who is definitely familiar with the Miss/Mr. First Name, even if I may not use it that often myself. It kind of got awkward because my mother worked at a church and as I got older (esp. high school and now college) the adults would want me to call them by their first name. Celia Rivenbark commented that the one thing "Andy Griffith" got wrong was having Opie call the adults by first name, without a Mr. or Miss--in real life that'd get you a stern talking-to and you'd be in toruble for sassing. Among my generation we tend to drop it--neighbor adults, and as I get older my parents coworkers. One of the families I babysit for I call the parents by their first names, but I've known them for years.
It's different for authority: with most professors I simply cannot do the first name thing, no matter how often they say so. "Call me D---", "Excuse me, Prof. S---", there you go. I'm also familiar with the two-name thing, and while I may not use it myself I think it's nice. Especially if you've got family names being passed down, it helps to distinguish Grandpa from the Father to the Son. (Of course, one of the main reasons for having middle names is so your Mama has something to yell when she's upset--the more complete the call, the more trouble you're in!)
I would feel very awkward approaching celebrities, not that it happens. Well, I did meet the carpet after Beauty and the Beast, but it's not like I knew the actor going in. I mean, how can you say "Oh my gosh I love your work" without coming across as a ditzy busybody who interrupts their private time? But were that the case, I would probably verify "Excuse me, but are you Vincent D'Onofrio?" and upon confirmation give a smile and a very quick "Thank you for your work, I've really enjoyed your stuff. If you don't mind my asking, are there any projects you have in mind right now?" Something like that--but if he had someone with him, especially one of his kids, I'd probably give a smile from a distance and not interrupt. ANd definitely do the Mr. D'onofrio route.
Later all, Catbird
"If it's dangerous to talk to yourself it's probably even dicier to listen." --Jim Hightower