|
Post by mwendyr on Nov 20, 2009 17:28:46 GMT -5
We're all responsible for how we make people feel with what we say and how we say it. I agree. Everyone has the right to express their opinion, but there's a right way to do it. If you say/write something that could hurt someone else, it's not right to say that it was okay to do so because you believe you can and that people should be hardened to it already. There are people at the keyboards of each and every single computer, and it's best to remember that. You wouldn't do the same to someone's face.
|
|
|
Post by maherjunkie on Nov 20, 2009 17:56:36 GMT -5
I thought his only flaw then was his teeth. Season 7 or 8 is him at his portliest.
|
|
|
Post by outerbankschick on Nov 20, 2009 19:41:23 GMT -5
I respectfully disagree, OBC. It is absolutely our responsibility to frame our statements in ways that don't hurt and provoke others, as you have pointed out yourself on many occasions. No one is allowed to call VDO out for getting fat here, are they? No one is allowed to question whether someone will like anything VDO does just because they like him so much, are they? And, as someone who was nearly completley driven off this board due to my hate of the melodramatic crap, i.e., "character driven" direction of the show, I find it ironic how I was made to feel like a troll for my negative comments while you're not responsible for how anyone feels about yours. Sorry, but I call bullshit. We're all responsible for how we make people feel with what we say and how we say it. Actually, you totally missed my point. Perhaps I wasn't clear enough. I am speaking about those who did not post on the board because of the fact that there were others of us who were so upset about the network's treatment of the show and the actors. No one here is responsible for making anyone else feel better by keeping our own opinions to ourselves. Period. Your tone and the words you use are up to you. There is a time for gentle wording and using the kid-gloves, and there is a time for matter-of-fact speech. I am not using nasty language, not calling people names, nor insulting anyone. I am simply speaking my point of view. Just as you just did, and always have, I might add. In fact, I don't know why you would feel like a "troll" as you obviously don't act like one. It was not me who was responsible for that, so you'll have to discuss that with the offending party. What was said in the other thread is that some folks felt uncomfortable even posting at all because there were those of us who were so upset about what was going on. That is on them, and no one else. I've been pissed off at the way people have talked about Vincent here and you all know it. Did it keep me away from the board? No. Did I stop posting here because so many people disagreed with my POV about the dramatic storylines of S7? No. This is not about whether or not you are nice when you disagree. Most of us here manage to disagree without slamming each other, and those who indulge in mud-slinging are dealt with by the mods. I am speaking to the notion that I, along with a few others, are somehow responsible for the fact that some folks felt uncomfortable posting here because we were so mad about what was happening. I contend we are not. There are threads for discussion of S9. There are threads for the discussion of the new cast. I am not mucking them up. Anyone who is...please take it up with them. Of course we are responsible for how and what we say. However, we are NOT responsible when what we say simply disagrees with the POV of someone else. This isn't about you and I disagreeing and getting heated. When I posted in certain threads about my feelings about the network's decisions, how they handled this, etc, I was not in a direct conflict with another person. I was pissed at the network, and I said so. I don't dislike JG. Never slammed him. Never will. I liked the Nichols episodes and enjoyed getting to know the character. When the news first broke, I was disappointed and I figured I'd still catch up with the episodes now and then. I was honest and stated that for me, it is Goren and Eames that make the show a "must see" and I left it at that. It was after those leaks about the salary issues, the pink slips, the new, "lighter" tone...etc...that I got fed up with NBCU altogether and from then on, I decided I wasn't going to watch the show in real time. To make a point to the network, just like a lot of other people. And suddenly, after three years on this board with nothing but good relationships with everyone here, I am now painted as some kind of "meanie". Really? Really??? All I've done is try to preserve the integrity of the show and go to bat for three actors that I feel were shafted by the network execs. Does anyone honestly think there is something wrong with that?
|
|
|
Post by outerbankschick on Nov 20, 2009 19:49:46 GMT -5
Wendy, I think y'all are missing my point. I am not saying you aren't responsible for how you say something and whether you are hurtful to someone. I was the one who made the point a few months back that there are people behind these keyboards. That's not what this is about.
Please...tell me this...if I say that I am ticked at the networks, I don't want fluff, I am sick of the greed of NBCU, their programming stinks, etc....how is that hurting the feelings of someone else?
Again, if someone stayed away from the board and didn't post because they didn't like the fact that a few of us were ticked at the network and saying so, how is that our problem?
A bunch of you here are waxing poetic about the new season to come. It's not keeping me away, is it? Even though I obviously disagree. Do you see what I am trying to say here? I'm not sure how else to explain it.
|
|
|
Post by outerbankschick on Nov 20, 2009 19:51:16 GMT -5
MJ, I actually think that little snaggle-toothed smile was so cute.
|
|
|
Post by mwendyr on Nov 20, 2009 20:07:08 GMT -5
I don't believe I am missing anything to be honest. There was something that was said to me here (not today or anything) that made me feel like I was irrelevant and stupid. True, I ignored it, and never mentioned it. But if I had been openly upset, would it have been a case of 'well, I was just stating my opinion' - Whilst I agree that you are right and that you should be allowed to express your disappointment or your joy at anything, I think there's a line somewhere.
And the line is where people accuse you of not getting it because you disagree. This board is the greatest place I have ever found because everyone is mature, open, and honest without the nasty words or the insults. There was an exception to me once, and I just left it, which I'm glad I did because I would miss this place and you all people.
|
|
|
Post by outerbankschick on Nov 20, 2009 20:20:24 GMT -5
There is a line...however, I don't believe that I personally crossed it. I don't think that those who were working so hard on the campaign crossed it either.
Maybe that is the bigger problem here. No one is being clear about who made them feel uncomfortable and why. Everything is veiled and those of us who are so upset by the network's decision are all being lumped together as "they" and painted with that same broad brush.
That's very unfair, IMO.
|
|
|
Post by mwendyr on Nov 20, 2009 20:25:55 GMT -5
No one is saying, you're right. However, I never said what this person had done or when it was. Nor did I suggest it was someone from the campaign or anyone remotely connected to saving Goren and Eames.
I just didn't say anything whatsoever about who it was, simply because I don't believe in pointing the finger or naming anyone.
|
|
|
Post by outerbankschick on Nov 20, 2009 21:09:26 GMT -5
I didn't mean to imply that you were talking about me, or any of us. You did say it didn't happen recently. I was commenting about what you said about there being a line there... And you certainly don't have to say who it was. That's between you and the offending party.
|
|
|
Post by maherjunkie on Nov 20, 2009 21:25:39 GMT -5
MJ, I actually think that little snaggle-toothed smile was so cute. I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating jagged little crackers.
|
|
|
Post by mwendyr on Nov 21, 2009 5:16:40 GMT -5
Phew. Just making sure we're on the same page ;D
|
|
|
Post by lovebug on Nov 21, 2009 14:37:36 GMT -5
Goren was chubby in season 1? Guess I was a little to mesmerized by his talent to notice!
|
|
|
Post by mwendyr on Nov 21, 2009 14:59:20 GMT -5
Goren wasn't chubby in S1. I seem to recall him being well, not. Maybe it's because I haven't watched in a while, but I'm fairly certain he wasn't.
|
|
untitled
Detective
Stuff the Fluff! Save Goren & Eames!
Posts: 274
|
Post by untitled on Nov 21, 2009 18:20:19 GMT -5
He most certainly was not.
|
|
|
Post by outerbankschick on Nov 21, 2009 21:08:39 GMT -5
Actually, if you look closely, he is steadily losing weight throughout S1. His face is rounder earlier in the season. He definitely had a little extra compared to that lean, hard body of S2, which he has by the end of S1. Watch him kick in the door in "Yesterday". Woof! Yes, I'm drooling.
|
|