A Little Bit O' Nonsense

[Lilee]

;D ;D ;D The Joke Thread ;D ;D ;D

[Lilee]

From, "A Little Joy, a Little Oy":

"A Shitikl Mishegoss (Little bit O' Nonsense)
The following is based on stereotypes, so for those of you who are offended, I stand pelted with matzoh balls:

Webster-Shmebster

deja-nu: having the feeling you've seen the same exasperated look on your mother's face but not knowing exactly when.
dis-kvell-ified: The result of flunking out of medical school.
disori-yenta: losing your aunt, then finding her discussing your divorce with total strangers in the mall.
matzoh-lation: smashing a matzoh to bits while trying to butter it.
re-shtetl-ment: moving from Brooklyn to Park Avenue to Miami-and seeing your old neighbors from Flatbush in the same condo."

[janetcatbird]

OK, an explanation of where I come from. This came from a postcard with a cartoon picture of a big blue dragon-lizard with black spots on the feet.

North Carolinasaurus (Carolinius tarheelus)
Diet of kudzu and kittyhawks. Most commonly seen on golf courses, basking on the Outer Banks, or resting heels in tar pits. Having few natural enemies, this docile creature may exhibit aggressive behavior during ACC tournaments.

Charles Kuralt: "And even if we could afford it, we still wouldn't go to Duke."

[Lilee]

On the first day of school Mendel's mother visited his teacher, explaining that her Mendel was a very sensitive boy, so he had to be disciplined without scarring his delicate nature.

"The thing to do is to scare him," she told the teacher. "If he starts up and you can't take it anymore, hit the boy in front of him."

[eYeSpEaK]

Well, I don't have many jokes mateys, but I have got heaps of quotes and bumper-sticker thingys...

I coped blonde jokes all the time at school but for some reason I can't remember them (oh, that's right, I'm blond - so I have an excuse for forgetting stuff)>>>

neways,


WHEN IN DOUBT, SHUT UP

I SMILE BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT



K, well those two explain the blondness.....but here are some more of my faves:


>> THERE'S ONE IN EVERY CROWD - AND THEY ALWAYS FIND ME.

>>THOSE ARE MY PRINCIPLES. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM I HAVE OTHERS.

>>I GET ENOUGH EXERCISE JUST PUSHING MY LUCK.

>>YOU CAN'T MAKE A PERSON LOVE YOU (YOU CAN ONLY STALK THEM & HOPE FOR THE BEST)!


I got more.........I'll keep ya posted on em...

Cheers,

Boo BoB

[eYeSpEaK]

K, what does this bumper sticker quote remind you of?


DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.


Well, it reminds me of every CI episode. In particular season 2's Dead, with that creepy freezer guy.

Wouldn't wanna tick him off, would ya??