Disclaimer: This represents my opinion and my opinion only. Feel free to rip, shred, or ignore. I do this as a writing/script development exercise. Thanks for letting me indulge myself. Oh, and if it’s too long and not okay, just tell me and I won’t do it again.
Lady’s Man“Lady’s Man” gives us the long-awaited personal episode, which shows us that our favorite detectives still have hearts that beat and blood that flows. The episodes that focus on Eames are few and far between so this one packs the punch of a double. We not only learn more about her past and personal life with glimpses of her at home and time off from work, but the grisly castration of a murdered man, a former murder suspect himself, dredges up a case from the past that may be the cause of the first black mark to appear in our senior detective’s jacket.
Sex, Lies, and Crazy LoversAt the crime scene we meet ADA Mulrooney, who has shown up because of his connection to the victim’s original trial as the prosecutor who was unable to convict. It’s immediately obvious he and Eames have some unresolved history. Goren sees it too and wastes no time getting to the bottom of Eames unease. When Mulrooney crowds Eames at work, feigning an interest in spending some time with her, an observant (and nosy) Goren butts in. The scene that follows Mulrooney’s resentful exit plays out the most sensational promo-lead in LOCI history-- “You slept with him?” --and does not disappoint. But Goren doesn’t get an answer. Not just yet.
After a day at the beach combing for evidence of a relationship between the current murder mystery and the case that Eames and Mulrooney worked on many years ago, our detectives cross that line in the sand by actually having a personal conversation ON SCREEN (We know they have them. We just never get to see them).
While Eames remains tacit, Goren takes out his frustrations on an adulterous pal of the victim. He sadistically taunts
(for Eames' pleasure?) the
married liar into confessing to a liaison with “a redhead.” That sends our couple straight to a motel room where Eames starts to suspect she’s being set up when two bits of personal property show up. Then it’s time to hit the bar where Eames once sat at a dark table in the corner “for hours” with the ol’ prosecutor back in the day, until she got “busy at work,” presumably with her new job at Major Case with her new peculiar but intriguing partner Robert Goren.
The act Goren puts on in the bar when chatting it up with the bartender is just that. An act. But like D’Onofrio, Goren is of the Method school. He draws on real experience to aid his performance. He needs the information for the case, but he also wants the information for himself. Remember “Endgame” where Goren uses the case to get to his own personal truths? The parallels between his probing of his mother’s affair with a psychopath as well as Eames’ are subtle but apparent.
Knowing that Goren is not above being sneaky and manipulative when he wants something, Eames calls him on it.
Eames: You find out everything you wanted to know…about me?
Goren: (teasing)
Everything. Bourbon, huh?
This exchange shows that they really are on friendly, personal terms. There are just certain prickly issues specific to each that they’d rather not talk about as it would open them up to too much vulnerability. Later, a badgered Eames even implores, “WHAT-- haven’t I told you?” As if not much else is off limits.
When she rebukes Goren for taking “that tone” with her, she’s just heard him resort to the tactic he uses to play every suspect during interrogation-- by getting into their heads, conning them with phony empathy. This being an IMPERSONAL approach, she greatly resents it. Only when Goren rethinks and re-phrases his questioning does she understand that he is exploring a viable connection between Mulrooney and the current murder case. In turn, Eames instantly regrets losing her temper at Goren and bites her tongue while she regroups.
No doubt, the meaning of Goren’s inquiry into Eames’ sexual history will be widely speculated. Considering that technically, it makes little difference to the case whether Eames did or didn’t, one could surmise that Goren wants to know
in that way that guys want to know those things about “their women.” You know: “HOW MANY??” and “WHO WERE THEY???” Clearly, these are questions that are asked by a BOYFRIEND not a colleague. However, one could argue that Goren sensed something “off” about Mulrooney, and felt that knowing whether or not Mulrooney could do the deed (and “how” he did it) with Eames would shed light on a hunch about his specific obsessions/fetishes and whether the guy posed a danger to Eames or not. The writers quite brilliantly leave this, as well as pretty much the entire episode open to interpretation through deliberate equivocation.
I don’t consider myself a “shipper” per se—I don’t see romance when one partner shows concern for the other when they're facing down the barrel of a gun. But I am a realist (eight years people, eight years) and the various writers of this show over time have given viewers plenty to lead them in the direction that Goren and Eames “care very deeply for each other” and not just professionally. “Vanishing Act” was loaded with allusions for those who wanted to see them: an overnight trip to Atlantic City; that blatant reading of Eames' Man Trouble by the magician; Goren performing magic tricks for Eames. I'm sure non-believers found it to be all smoke and mirrors.
There's a clear communication enfolded into the subtext of many other episodes as well. When there's a personal issue to address, our circumspect pair usually speak cryptically to each other through the interrogations. (Just remove the perps and you'll get what I mean). If I were to guess when the tides turned, it would be around the middle of Season 4. See my notes on “Silver Lining”* at the end of this reading. A delicate balance between suggestion and innuendo is exactly what hooks audiences emotionally and keeps them coming back for more. Too much personal drama and it becomes a different kind of show (e.g. SVU).
On a similar note, it’s amusing how puritanical this show can be at times: having Eames point out that City Island was a place where she and Joe rented a weekend place, quickly adding “AFTER we were married.” Not to mention Eames’ insistence that, no, she didn’t sleep with Mulrooney. Too bad. If she had admitted doing so, it would’ve given all the other developments MUCH more weight, although perhaps bordering on the melodramatic.
Goren sometimes seems almost parochial in his attitudes about sex, considering all the aberrant behavior he encounters in his job. I chalk this up to Dick Wolf’s latent conservatism (titillate, don’t participate) in all things Law and Order, as an attempt to placate the masses. Goren can keep Eames safely on her pedestal now that he knows she was chaste.
Or believes she was.
From everything we’ve learned from LOCI about body language and reading people, Eames was LYING. Since dodging Goren’s question the first time around, she’s had time to think about her answer. No dummy she, Alex knows him too well. She considers all he’s been through in the past year, and chooses to spare him. Unable to look him in the eye, her head drops. She tosses out that little line, “But I would have…” to explain her guilty aspect. She's learned just how much Goren can handle. Plus, she knows he has a
very long memory. Once he’s satisfied, she’s able to regain eye contact with him. Let’s hope he doesn’t think too hard about the length of the lease Eames had on that weekend rental in the “vacation capital of the world.”
Eames History with MenNot so good. Like her relationships with a couple of “married liars”, this one with Mulrooney must’ve REALLY gone down in a bad way. From the first time Eames sees him arrive on the crime scene, she winces and literally turns away, as if hoping he doesn’t notice her. She can’t even begin to guess what kind of negative press precedes her visit to Mulrooney’s father-- Eames (to Mr. Mulrooney Sr.): That bad?
OR maybe Mulrooney really got under her skin all those years ago.
Eames: Mulrooney may be…
irritating... (sets her jaw), but a killer?
That would be a drag. This guy's only an obsessive, cross-dressing, stalking freak, but it just goes to show how hard it is to meet the right person.
My bet is that Eames really wanted/needed him at the time, and when the case went south he blamed and rejected her. Because she wouldn’t lie in deposition to save his ass, he made her feel guilty that the failure to convict was all her fault. She was able to
separate the job from their relationship. He wasn’t.
Peter from “Silencer” was in over his head. He tried to make Eames think about what life could be like in their "own little Eden" (BTW, a feminist's nightmare). Let’s face it. He never really had a chance, did he? Not enough testosterone. Goren proves now as well as then, that Eames shouldn’t waste her time with men who are overpowered or threatened by her strength.
Closing the dealOnce Goren picks up his scent, you know Mulrooney's gonna fry for something. In his insatiable hunger for knowledge, Goren takes it upon himself to explore “things...current things that connect to the Burnham case.” The letter that keeps cropping us becomes the McGuffin in the case: a device through which everything else gets funneled but isn’t really pivotal in itself, or one that drives an otherwise flimsy plot. Sure, it makes Eames feel better to find out it was forged, but I’m never quite sure why Eames says, “If I hadn’t found that letter you’d be on the yellow brick road to Bureau Chief instead of taking orders from paralegals.” Wait-- I thought he planted it so she WOULD find it. And... Ireland? I don’t get-- Oh well, pppfffff-- it doesn’t matter. Goren reprises his magic act by pulling incriminating evidence out of a hat-- a red wig that pins guilt on Mr. McSweetie. There's the promise that “things are going to be said… things revealed” that might be not be pleasant for Eames. (I speculate Goren doesn't want her to come to the aria party because of some embarrassing kinky stuff that might come up, plus, he
really doesn't want to catch her in that darned lie). Like a USA Networks promo, that promise dissipates in the wind. But we’re too distracted by all of the innuendo of Ess Eee Ex, that we don’t care!
The last man standing is Goren (all others have been castrated, emasculated, or are rendered impotent-- no wonder Ross cut out early). Although slightly patronizing, Goren clears up the murky past for Eames and lets her know she needn’t feel guilty about it. Thank God for that. He may not have given her his mother’s ring, but he lets her have a pair of shiny bracelets.
For those of you who think that this up-close-and-personal episode signals the beginning of the end, relax. From what I’ve seen this season, the writers are just as likely to revise history at will, erasing tensions and connections with equal disregard, as they are to acknowledge any seasonal story arc, much less one that spans the series. They’ll zig from this episode’s foray into intimacy, and zag to another’s austere procedural. Nothing like being kept off balance. Kinda makes me feel like one of Goren’s perps.
NOTES: Interesting psychopathy of the
villain: A variation on “split personality” as one who lives with dual behaviors, aspects, affinities, aversions, attitudes, etc.:
- Craving order/mired in clutter
- Male presentation/female presentation
- Crack shot on the range/anti-gun
- Carefully planned, neat kill/messy haphazard desecration of the body
- Self-control/rage
- Wants to “spend time with Alex”/criticizes and berates her
- Attracted to a strong woman/resents the strong woman
- Represents the law/wanted Alex to fudge her testimony
- Taste in women of contrasting “types”
His borderline disorder includes: affective instability (unpredictable moods, verbal abuse, name calling, acts of rage, manipulative demeanor, alternating kindness and attention), paranoid ideas (need to blame others for failures), abandonment fears (threatened by others’ relationships, emotional obsessions), identity disturbance (cross-gender identification, acute masculinity crises), inability to sustain relationships, sexual fetishes.
Cleverly, some dichotomies surface for
Eames as well:
- She’s one tough cookie. No nonsense. Unsentimental. Yet can show concern and empathy, like for the parents of the disappeared first wife. (And she still keeps her wedding photo on her dresser).
- Generally, she’s by the book. No exceptions. Yet, she doesn’t exactly come clean about that red blouse being hers…
- At the height of her anger, even clenching her jaw and fists, she speaks in almost a whisper: “I’m placing you under arrest….”
- And let’s not forget the most important contrast: She’s all business, but then, maybe she’s not…
Mulrooney’s own
father speaks in a succession of contradictions. Everything out of his mouth contains a reversal:
- “I don’t trust anyone in a suit.” (Then, at Goren’s dress) “Uh, no disrespect.”
- Denying his son said anything bad about Alex, he then offers his true opinion: “A woman cop? I hope he was up to the challenge”.
- “Gals always like Kevin. But comes a time when you gotta stop chasing skirts.”
- “His type was always— uh. But hey. Nothin’ wrong with a woman who can handle a firearm.”
- “He was good” (out on the range). “Then he goes on this ‘ban guns’ kick.”
- Of his wife, Adele: "She could be scary. She was one of the good ones.”
- Even what goes into his mouth is a contradiction: he agrees with Goren that a beer probably wouldn’t be “right” (it IS the middle of the day…), but has one anyway.
It's no surprise that this Father of the Year, and the Mother that's implied, incubated a conflicted child.
Happily, at least with this episode, we can celebrate the return of
Goren’s personality:
- The playful trickster, the cunning interrogator with off-beat tactics, the taunter of a rich and successful blowhard (Yancy).
- We even get role-playing AND, a bit of The Lean—if just to look under a bed. Hmmm.
- He’s still a control freak, has to run the whole show, and can’t stand it when he gets something wrong: for a second, he’s unsettled when he thinks he’s missed the fact that “she likes... wine?” But is smugly comforted when the bartender confirms that, no, “she was the bourbon.”
The story deftly touches on Goren’s own issues with a brief reference to the mother-son relationship when Mulrooney’s father brings up the subject. And in the aria, Mulrooney holds his hands to his face and cruelly mocks Alex’s grief in a visual nod to her scene in “Amends” where she holds Joe’s shirt to her face and sobs. Nicely done.
In keeping with classic Romantic Comedy tropes (mistaken identity, gender bending, the Love Triangle, and let's face it-- the "Bellamy"**), this episode contains numerous instances of pure comedy. From the first interview (“Does he have to be here??”), and a visit to the studio of innocent-or-guilty pleasure Faith Yancy where Goren won’t give up the seat, to Goren's drunk schtick AND the funniest line to EVER come out of Eames (“You’re a helluva detective.”), “Lady’s Man” will surely provide viewing pleasure for many years to come.
Interesting how the word “crazy” is used three times by people who are conversant enough in psychological issues and terminology to know not to throw that word around.
I’m giving this script a “B+” and not an “A” because of my issues with the following:
- Why was Eames involved in the original case? I thought she worked vice, not homicide.
- How did Mulrooney so easily get into Eames’ house?
- How could Eames not know someone had been in her house???
- Eames was shown not to be able to solve the case. Actually, not the original case, nor the current one.
- Why would it take ten years for Mulrooney to go off? (Did they ever say if his mother died RECENTLY?)
- Loose end: Does she ever tell Goren the red blouse was actually her own?
- The hat trick of evidence (red wig, clothing receipts) that appears out of nowhere. Lazy, methinks.
- Ross is MIA after the first quarter. I should think he’d check in with the case considering his concern regarding Eames’ involvement.
- We never find out what Mulrooney was up to for seven years.
- Eames’ passivity and subordination throughout the case and especially the aria. Uh, and what was THIS?? Eames: I hope you’re not saying I can’t go? (WHAT??? Why would she even ask this question?)
- The aria was not as well structured (beginning, middle, end) as it could have been. Some of the lines fell flat and/or didn’t progress the scene. Eames’ bit about makeup didn’t work for me. I'm not sure if I got the what appeared to be Mulrooney's transformation into "Gabby..." Weird.
- Story structure was a little circuitous: too many exchanges with Goren and Eames on the same/similar topic in the same/similar tone.
- Too many exchanges with Goren and Mulrooney – as above.
But on entertainment value and captivating performances, I’ll bestow an “A”.
CONCLUSIONIt must be a helluva challenge being in a relationship with a detective, not to mention one who is obsessed with knowing EVERYTHING about
everything. There’s not much you can get away with. I imagine the greatest guilt Eames felt about her affair with Mulrooney was the
timing in proximity to Joe’s death. Even though “it was a time in a person’s life when they needed to...
talk about things,” it was just too soon and she knows it. And with a guy who turned out to be such a worm. But that’s all in the past and we’ve got to move forward. “There’s a lot to do” as Goren would say. Even if it means that everyone you encounter looks like a character you’ve already met in another episode.***
* “Silver Lining”: The opening scene, Eames and Goren are out together
at night when they get called about a dead woman on a park bench in Washington Square. Eames tries three times to wrap things up so they can leave. Goren, bitten by the curiosity bug, keeps returning for more forensic discussion with the officer on scene. She’s annoyed, she rolls her eyes, stamps her feet. Later, when they interview the owner of the stolen silver who says that an “expert” had been visiting Becks (the now-dead appraiser) and that Becks was “freshly showered,” but “the guy looked like he was in a hurry to leave…”, Eames nods and huffs, “Sounds about right,” shooting Goren a dirty look before continuing. On the stakeout, Goren arouses Eames from her slumber with the aroma of fresh coffee. She foggily asks, “Don’t you
ever sleep?” (Because obviously he didn’t stay to catch some Z’s with her at some earlier point in the week.) Goren: There's a lot to do. During interrogation, the thief’s wife Sheila presses Eames, “Have you ever been in love?” Eames recoils, perturbed. She brushes it off, “Be in love all you want, Sheila.” And in an attempt to bring romantic Sheila down to earth, she sums up Wesley the thief: “He’s like my partner, who wants to be left alone to do what he’s good at. Catching bad guys.” Cut to Goren, who shuffles sheepishly on the other side of the glass. After Goren passes Eames a note,
everything changes. Now on the same side of the glass, while contemplating their next move with Deakins and Carver, our pair can barely contain themselves. They adopt restrained postures for self-preservation (Eames' folded arms and Goren's clasped hands) in front of the bosses, until Goren suggests he and Eames take another little afternoon outing to Pennsylvania. Back in Carver’s office, the two are all smiles as they present a united front, shoulder to shoulder, head to head. Next, we’re talking an over-nighter in the countryside. At the confrontation in the shed, Goren literally makes a pass at Eames with a coffee can full of money. She catches it, of course, and they take down the bad guys
together. There’s a lot more about marriage, babies, and having a normal life, but we’ll leave that for another day. P.S. That must have been
some note.
**After Ralph Bellamy, classic Hollywood era actor who consistently played the less-than-ideal suitor who, in conclusion, didn't "get the girl."
***When the Law & Order franchise is no more, I predict that all 63 of the rotating guest actors will form a theater company in the West Village.
My apologies to any individuals or groups that I might have offended,
including LOCI fans, Shippers, NOROMOS; the writers, performers, and producers of LOCI;
those afflicted with Borderline Personality Disorder or sexual fetishes;
stalkers, killers, perps, and cross-dressers.