|
Post by idget on Nov 19, 2009 14:34:09 GMT -5
It's good to have you back Lovebug! I feel what your saying!
|
|
|
Post by lovebug on Nov 19, 2009 14:44:26 GMT -5
Thank you Idget, I'm glad to be back!
|
|
|
Post by DonnaJo on Nov 19, 2009 15:08:17 GMT -5
Delighted that you've come back, Lovebug. I posted on the CI Renewal thread that I hoped that I didn't say or do anything to contribute to you leaving. If I did, I am truly sorry! I love your analogy of the family who disagrees sometimes but really cares about one another. That describes us, I think. I know that this site is very important to me. As are its members.
|
|
|
Post by lovebug on Nov 19, 2009 15:22:22 GMT -5
Thanks for welcoming me back DJ! I've really missed being here
|
|
|
Post by maherjunkie on Nov 19, 2009 18:14:41 GMT -5
I don't think we have the right to make a member unwelcome but if you don't like something you should have the right to say it. If Tom Cruise were joining the show I wouldn't be happy, I wouldn't be alone, and should be able to express it.
|
|
|
Post by outerbankschick on Nov 19, 2009 21:56:01 GMT -5
Okay...y'all know me. A little reality check here please. And I gotta give MJ her props because once again, her post is my jumping off point. Yes, we should make newbies feel welcome. Yes, there should be lots of "getting to know you" type stuff so that we can feel each other out and form the friendships that have become so important to some of us here. However...and this is a biggie for me, y'all...I am not responsible for how anyone else feels. I was very ticked off when the news broke because of the way NBCU did it, and the way they have continued to treat the actors they decided they wanted to be rid of. It is not my responsibility to keep my thoughts to myself just so you (general "you") can feel comfortable. That is not how things work in real life...and let's face it, the 'Net IS real life. It is simply another way to connect with people. We may not be meeting face-to-face, but we are indeed "meeting" one another and forming relationships in a "virtual" world that exists in real time on the Web. So, if in our everyday lives we do not expect others to just keep their mouths shut and their thoughts to themselves if they disagree with our POV, then we should not expect that in our online life either. If you are one of those people who felt "uncomfortable" posting your opinions in light of the opposite opinions that some of us have, then I would ask you to examine why that is for yourself. It is not the responsibility of any other person to keep their own thoughts quiet in order to make you feel comfortable. There is room for both opinions obviously, or there wouldn't be so many of us here who see things so differently. I do not recall, during any of this, those of us here who were actively trying to save the show, berating or demeaning anyone who wasn't. Ever. Period. So...if in fact it was that we hold a differing opinion, and we said so, that was the reason why so many were "quiet", then I would have to wonder why anyone would allow an opposing opinion to keep them from posting on a web board because that is the very nature of a web board to begin with. I'm trying to say this as plain as I know how. Bluntness in speech is not the same thing as being rude, however much our current society desires to make it so. I handle a great many situations that arise here with humor when I can, but right now, this is something that's been sticking in my craw and I just don't see how humor will help at this point. I'll get my funny-bone back soon, though. Promise.
|
|
|
Post by Techguy on Nov 19, 2009 22:56:56 GMT -5
Just for the record, I scrolled through the Saving Robert Goren thread and counted only a handful of posts by me. I don't think I said anything there that was rude or insulting, at least I hope not. And also for the record, I hope we don't have to walk on eggshells when we want to post. Common sense and rules of courtesy are always in vogue.
I also realize my own skin goes though varying stages of thickness. I admit it, when it's trending thin, sometimes I go silent when I sense that things aren't going well and just want to chill out for a while. Other times when my hide develops a crust, I'm very blunt about what I like and don't like in a CI episode. I hope that's OK with everyone.
|
|
|
Post by outerbankschick on Nov 19, 2009 23:42:41 GMT -5
I agree, Techguy...no walking on eggshells. I certainly don't, and I don't expect anyone else to.
I suppose that my nine years on varying web boards has helped me a great deal in thickening my own hide. I've been there, seen that, been in flame wars where I was the target, and fired back in kind when I felt it necessary. Some years back, I realized that answering those flames with my own just gave the "flamer" what they wanted...a fight just for the sake of fighting. Which is a colossal waste of time and I decided I didn't want any part of it anymore.
|
|
|
Post by maherjunkie on Nov 20, 2009 0:56:23 GMT -5
I guess my new nickname could be "diving board".
|
|
|
Post by lovebug on Nov 20, 2009 8:59:08 GMT -5
OBC, I've always been a fan of your point of view and your eloquent posts. I enjoy the fact that you, MJ, and a few others don't sugar-coat your feelings. And I totally agree about the "flame wars" (had that experience myself) I've learned "never feed the trolls". Hopefully, we all find our happy medium expressing ourselves.
|
|
|
Post by trisha on Nov 20, 2009 13:26:38 GMT -5
I respectfully disagree, OBC. It is absolutely our responsibility to frame our statements in ways that don't hurt and provoke others, as you have pointed out yourself on many occasions.
No one is allowed to call VDO out for getting fat here, are they?
No one is allowed to question whether someone will like anything VDO does just because they like him so much, are they?
And, as someone who was nearly completley driven off this board due to my hate of the melodramatic crap, i.e., "character driven" direction of the show, I find it ironic how I was made to feel like a troll for my negative comments while you're not responsible for how anyone feels about yours.
Sorry, but I call bullshit.
We're all responsible for how we make people feel with what we say and how we say it.
|
|
|
Post by maherjunkie on Nov 20, 2009 14:12:12 GMT -5
I don't think OBC disputes it's how you say it.
|
|
|
Post by trisha on Nov 20, 2009 14:30:16 GMT -5
True. I am blunt by nature, and so is OBC and several others here. This is why we sometimes have to couch what we say and be mindful of what threads we choose to post certain comments to. Being honest is good, being deflating is not.
It's a balancing act, and each poster is responsible for their impact of their words.
|
|
|
Post by Cassie on Nov 20, 2009 16:54:02 GMT -5
I respectfully disagree, OBC. It is absolutely our responsibility to frame our statements in ways that don't hurt and provoke others, as you have pointed out yourself on many occasions. No one is allowed to call VDO out for getting fat here, are they? No one is allowed to question whether someone will like anything VDO does just because they like him so much, are they? And, as someone who was nearly completley driven off this board due to my hate of the melodramatic crap, i.e., "character driven" direction of the show, I find it ironic how I was made to feel like a troll for my negative comments while you're not responsible for how anyone feels about yours. Sorry, but I call bullshit. We're all responsible for how we make people feel with what we say and how we say it. nicely said I don't think OBC disputes it's how you say it. true, I hear what your saying. Although I find that it all depends on who is saying what to who, whether or not it is going to be acceptable. Is it Tough Skin or Rude behavior? If you go against the grain, it feels like a Mob is coming after you. And it should never be acceptable behavior to make jokes or mock a person, or high five a person who does. I think they call it "flaming" when you just ignore a persons post, and just hope they disappear. Its kinder..... And Maher, I have never seen you attack anyone. now off to a little fluff post No one is allowed to call VDO out for getting fat here, are they? I discovered VDO in Season 1, where he was a chub-button, I think he had deliberately put on weight for the "Salton Sea". Anyway, I found him extremely attractive and fell for him, it was his personality too. I refer to him from that season as "Goober Goren" Season 2 he lost the weight and turned into a hunk hunk burnin man.....he was more suave, sexier....and all girls hearts jumped a beat.....but I was more comfortable with the character that I fell for..... Anyway..... I just got done watching an episode from Season 1, where he is chubby..... and it got me wondering, if most girls fell for Goren in Season 1, where he was his chubbiest, why is it so unacceptable for him almost 10 years later to pack on a few pounds like the rest of the middle age community has?
|
|
|
Post by NikkiGreen on Nov 20, 2009 17:10:12 GMT -5
Quite eloquently stated, Trisha.
|
|